40 Staples in the Head.. I

I don't know.. the feeling is rather mixed. I just came as far as this entry of a blog of my deceased ex-school mate and I am already feeling rather pertubed. I stop reading there.. hanging ever knowing the full of what arwah Hasnah was suffering off. A cancer battling life.

al-fatihah.

The mentioning of 40 staples on arwah's head.. auto cruise had me flying back to the time my head was all bandaged. I remembered very well as I opened my eyes in clear conscious out of the anasthesia.. I saw my boy no. 2 with this such worried look and asking me, "mak, kenapa ada darah kat situ?"

My head was fully bandaged. There was blood on the bandage.. at the left part of my ear. I had just underwent a 4 hours surgery removing a growth in my ear. At that point in time.. I had a baby of a month old.. boy no. 6.. the final of all my 6 children was just born then. He was still nursing.. a fully breast fed baby.

The decision for me to undergo the surgery was made rather quick. I was 7 months pregnant when one fine morning as I got up from bed.. I wobbled and everything surrounding me was turning 360 degrees. I felt sick to the stomach.. oh what huge belly at that time. I sat on my bed and everything seemed to be sickening. I was feeling an eerie nausea beyond control. I was never a morning sickness type of pregnant mother but this time it was really really really really really very unbeareable. I was sick to the bone.

The decision to see the doctor was always auto cruise every time I was pregnant for I had a series of medical difficulty during pregnancy.. that was Pre Eclampsia Toexima (PET). I would not want to be on untoward seizure.. not when I was already fully healthy of my final trimester.. fully 7 months pregnancy. I could not figure it out but this was for sure not a PET symptom.

That very same day.. I had a full medical check-up with the OG Specialist that concluded all was well with my pregnancy but I remembered telling that my ear ache. I was immediately sent to the ENT and after a series of this test and that test.. here and there.. every other week.. I was finally set up for my surgery.

Through out that final 2 months of my pregnancy.. I had to go for full medical check-up.. not only to my ante-natal clinic but also my ENT clinic. I had with me then.. 3 worries.. the pregnancy.. the growth in my ear and the unborn child.

hmmmmm

I had since last night tried to read arwah Hasnah's writing of her life battling but somehow or rather I did not make it that far. Arwah's might be gone now but reading what arwah's had written as if "talking" with arwah now.

It brought back to the time where I had that 24 sticthes at the back of my ear lobe.. where I had my skull scraped also. A beautifully done stitches and successful surgery by my doctor.. Professor Lokman Saim of UKM Hospital.